Nicky and Eddie Vedder

"I’m living, I’m living, I haven’t lived for so fucking long."

As Nicky said these words there was a fierceness in her eyes that spoke of both the grief of the years lost in an abusive relationship and a magical freedom that’s slowly awakening within her. A fierceness that is married to her courage.

Courage that led her to speaking so openly in private over the many phone calls we had as we set up her daughter’s GTL show, then asking for her story to be shared here. Courage that answers the call to take care of her wounded heart by committing to therapy. Sharing her story in front of a hundred and sixty colleagues, sharing her story before her Eddie Vedder show and opening the gates to others to share their story, opening the gates to the beauty of deep vulnerability.

‘I’m living, I’m living, I haven’t lived for so fucking long.’


We watched you live, Nicky. Alive with joy, excitement and wonder at your day. Hungry for the first time that you could remember at breakfast the morning after the show, delighting in discovering new tastes. Tears.

Many, many tears. Release, tears always a relief. Tears as you tell your story...as people share theirs with you...as Glen Hansard dedicates a song to you. As Betterman is played, the song in your poster, the song that resonates so deeply. As a setlist lands in her hands.

Courage comes from our hearts. Hearts that have been broken need courage to heal. The courage to tell our stories, to tell our truth rather than smile in a grin of positivity.

Nicky sent us a message after she got back to the UK thanking us for the best day of her life. Nicky, we hope there will be many more best days of your life, that your freedom takes flight catching the sweetest of breezes dances you into living, living, fucking living freer than you could ever have imagined.